I want you to forget every strategic thing you think you know about paintball, because I can guarantee you that you are doing it wrong. Paint balling requires you to adapt. To different playing fields, different opponents, and different bunker arrangements, you better be able to adapt. Do you want to turn your mediocre paint balling skill around? Listen to these four tips. It will turn you into a world renowned paint balling stud.
4) Stop Camping
Stop. Camping. It’s a moronic strategy and will only result in you slowing down the game. Oh Congragafuckinglations, you took out one guy in thirty minutes. Get up, and move quickly. Move towards the opponent, play a risky game. It will pay off, and my oh my will you look better than sitting on your ass the whole time.
3) Be a Lone Wolf
Don’t roll with a team. Be a lone wolf. A lone warrior. Whatever you like to call it. A team will slow you down, they will make noise. Traveling in groups makes you a big target. Go out on your own, move stealthily while your team distracts the enemies. You will certainly look better taking guys out by yourself than with a group.
2) Do Not Over Shoot
Nobody is worse than the guy who fires five or six shots at once, and gets lucky hitting the target with one. Do not be that guy. If you see a target, take one shot. One. Sniping a target from afar will look so much better than spraying five or six. I repeat, do not be that guy. I am begging you.
1) Do Have a Pimpin’ Gun
In all sports, whether it may be recreational, professional, or backyard, how you look is a very important. The better you look, the better you are. Guaranteed. Time and time again, athletes of all kinds ignore the swag factor. Never ignore the swag factor. Here are some picture references for you.
Do not look like this guy.
Or this guy.
Do look like this guy.
Do not have a gun like this.
Do have a gun like this.
If you follow these tips, you will become the ultimate paint baller. Not only will you crush your weak friends, you will look phenomenal doing it.
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Jack Stevenson is a 16 year old sports writer from Connecticut. As a highschool student, sports writing is only a hobby. Along with contributing to The Playrs Club, Jack and a few of his friends created the so far unsuccessful site cafeteriasports.com. His claim to fame is his twitter game, and you can find him on all social media @jcs1757. Jack is an avid sports fan of all kinds and plays both varsity football and baseball. He hopes to be a sports writer full time one day.