The movie Dodgeball did not teach me much, but it did teach me one very important life lesson, your team is only as good as it’s name. If you want to win at dodgeball, you better have a kick ass name. (The movie also taught me If I could dodge a wrench, I could dodge a ball) It must have the perfect combination of comedy, wit, and intelligence. I used to be in a Wiffleball league, and our name sunk. Coincidentally, our team also sucked. It is a proven fact that the more clever your name is, the more success it will carry with it. Well that may not be a fact but it’s very damn true. Here I present to you the top 10 funny dodgeball team names.
10) The UnTouchABalls
The UnTouchABalls is a truly terrific and clever team name. It gives a sense of impenetrability. You are superior to these other lackluster and lame team names. While they are out striking out with girls at clubs, you and your teammates are hitting the gym, eating right, and mentally preparing to dominate them.
9) 2 Balls 1 Cup
2 Balls 1 Cup is great wordplay on the “video” we all know. It’s a name that will get the opposing team thinking about that video, throwing their game off. A bunch of aging out of shape men, 2 Balls 1 Cup are out to prove to you that they still have it.
8) Gym Class Heroes
The Gym Class Heroes call it like it is. They know they are bunch of washed out middle school studs. However, they take that distinction with pride. The Gym Class Heroes spend their time reliving middle school lives and the babes that came with their young stardom. We all know that the middle school dodgeball studs got all the babes. When The Gym Class Heroes walk out to “The Fighter” playing in the background, your ass better be nervous.
7) Skillz That Killz
Everyone’s favorite team in the movie, Skillz That Killz, will only work for a certain select of individuals. If you can pull it off, it provides the perfect reference that inspires us all. Unfortunately for you, you can’t quite pull it off. We both know this is what you will end up looking like.
While It’s a fantastic name, save the world a few deaths and choose something else, for your own sake.
6) Balls Deep
Balls Deep represents a group of individuals who know they are the best. They will take their rubber balls and knock you out cold. These are young adults who think they just came up with the name on their own. They will penetrate you with their ball chucking prowess. How Deep? Balls Deep.
5) Dodgy Style
A strong team name must either be clever, or carry a strong sexual innuendo. This is both. If you see a team on your schedule named Dodgy Style, you might as well not show up. When you see them walking out in their customized tee shirts with their logo, we both know what it would be, you have already lost.
4) All Dodge No Balls
As evidenced by the movie, girls can play dodgeball too. All Dodge No Balls is game over for a team of all girls. All Dodge No Balls directly correlates to swagger. While you are trying to hit on this group of ladies, these girls are denying you straight up and about to destroy you on the court. These girls don’t know what “you throw like a girl” means.
3) No Hit Sherlock
A bunch of wisecrack jerkoffs, No Hit Sherlock is filled with kids named Dennis or Kyle. These kids know they are the best. They roll to the court oozing an unparalleled level of swagger. When you ultimately lose, and go “man you guys are good”, be prepared for their response of “No Hit Sherlock”.
2) The Dodgefathers
The Dodgefathers speaks for itself. To truly experience the essence of the name, all you need to do is imagine Don Vito Corleone saying, “If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball”. The Dodgefathers are a bunch of experienced, intellectuals. They can and will beat you. When playing the dodgefathers, it would be pretty damn wise if your ass didn’t show up.
1) Daj Mabal
The Daj Mabal’s dare you to compete. They want you to show up, so they can stick you in the ground. They want you to try and try to dodge their balls. Spoiler! It won’t happen. The Daj Mabal’s is the perfect combination of wit, clever, and will just make you laugh. If you choose Daj Mabal for your All-Star dodgeball squad, be prepared to hoist the trophy in glorious victory.
Jack Stevenson is a 16 year old sports writer from Connecticut. As a highschool student, sports writing is only a hobby. Along with contributing to The Playrs Club, Jack and a few of his friends created the so far unsuccessful site cafeteriasports.com. His claim to fame is his twitter game, and you can find him on all social media @jcs1757. Jack is an avid sports fan of all kinds and plays both varsity football and baseball. He hopes to be a sports writer full time one day.